You get more of anything you focus on. That’s why complainers tend to attract more issues and the grateful just keep receiving good news.
What I want you to steal is the idea of being more grateful for your partner. And the way I want you to do that is through a Gratitude Journal.
What’s a Lover’s Gratitude Journal?
It’s a journal in which you keep track of the things you love about your significant other.
Why Start One?
To bring emphasis to everything that’s good about your relationship.
Look at it this way. If I told you right now to name 4 good things about your partner, your mind would NOT go looking for the things that piss you about her. It’d be so because our minds can only acknowledge 1 truth at a time.
So by committing yourself to finding the good in your partner,
- You will make it difficult for her flaws to gain more importance than they should
- You will help your positive beliefs about her self-reinforce themselves
How Else Does It Help?
Like any journal, it’s a first and foremost a reminder.
- Of how your partner sees you,
- Of what your partner loves, so you can keep improving on it,
- Of the emotional history of your relationship.
As you both move forward in your relationship, it will help to know where you’re coming from as a couple. And in difficult times, the lovers gratitude journal will rekindle your affection for one another.
How Often Should You Write?
There’s no prescribed cadence, but there’s a minimum. Make sure you write at least one entry per month. By committing to doing it, your mind will constantly track the good, rather than the bad in your relationship.
What Shouldn’t You Write?
The negative stuff. Don’t write things you wouldn’t proudly shout into a mic at your baby shower. Remember, it’s a gratitude journal, not an all-round journal. Keep the venom for elsewhere.
Where Can You Write?
1. Evernote
- Create a joint Evernote account.
- Create 2 separate notes, one written by her and one by you.
- Write.
Or, share your notes from your separate accounts.
2. On Paper
For paper journals, it’s best not to separate your book into two sections. Instead, without focusing too much on turns, both write as you feel inspired. You’ll enjoy the reading experience better this way.
Curtains Up: Our Own Example
We wouldn’t be legit if we preached something we didn’t do. So for your eyes only, here is an example of 2 entries. One from me and one from Tash. I hope it inspires you.
To download, click here >> Sample Gratitude Journal Entries – The Bold Givers <<
Finally,
I’d understand if you procrastinate on this idea, especially if you’re uncomfortable with writing. May I suggest you break it into ridiculously easy bits? Start by buying the paper journal with your partner today or just creating an Evernote account together. And then keep the momentum going.
If you haven’t found that special someone yet but are certain that it’s just a matter of time, then by faith get a journal.
True love takes action.
– –
Rowing your Gondola,
Pat.
Hihihi I like this article so much cuz it actually seems like you stole this idea from me. I’ve always thought holding a journal with your lover is a great thing. Unfortunately there are some people who don’t like to write. I think a good way to show the example is to hold the journal all by yourself and may be make your “unwilling” lover read it ounce in a while and maybe through some careless “it would be great if you could write too”. I think with time, the lover will surprise you… Lol. Kiss.
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