Financial stability is important to every girl. But like gobbledygook, it doesn’t help much if you don’t understand it.
Does financial stability mean deep gingling pockets? A glam neighbourhood? Expensive possessions? For a long time, I couldn’t tell either.
And since I couldn’t tell, I was dragged through financial mud by ex’s who didn’t know better. With a smile on my face each time.
Hear this: Stable things don’t fall and financial stability is the ability to NOT fall financially. It’s not how much cash or cars you have, or how much you can show up and show off, it’s simply the ability to use your money well, pay check to pay check, pay check to no check, on one foot or on both.
After I wiped the smile off my face from those failed relationships, I learned that a man worth my time should be able to provide for his family in all circumstances. He should care more about feeding me than feeding the Armani habit, and he should be able to forgo the good things of the moment for the great things of tomorrow.
I needed to know that in good times, he would still prepare for our children’s future instead of living in the uncertain certainty of the next big pay check.
Could he date me even when the money was scarce? Did he care more about showing off with fancy restaurants and jewellery or was he spontaneous enough to whip up a picnic blanket, a KFC share bucket and lay under the stars with me?
Would he laugh about credit card debt and boast about his new Jeep’s car loan, or would he be modest about paying for his simple ’98 Sonata with cash?
Financial stability isn’t always loud.
In the noisy sparks of a new relationship, it’s sometimes easy to misinterpret. Like paying for flour and getting powder, or praying for a husband and settling for a boy.
Try to see the reality of his financial stability before you make any long-term commitments with him.
5 Questions To Asses Your Partner’s Financial Stability
Of course, 5 questions is not enough. But it’s a start.
1. Is he comfortable talking about his finances?
I’m not suggesting you ask about his debt status out of the blue. That would be impolite. But if you’re already having a conversation about finances, then you could use the opportunity to ask subtly. If he is unwilling to talk about money or is defensive, he could be so for a reason. He could, just could, have something to hide.
2. How does he react to financial peer pressure?
Does he accept surprise invitations from friends when he clearly hasn’t budgeted for them? Or when you both know that doing so would hurt your finances? The ideal answer should be a confident ‘no’.
3. What’s his stance on delayed gratification?
Impromptu travels. Impromptu purchases. Does he save to get the best deal later, or does he compromise his life now to get an ok deal?
4. Does he asks you to do things with him which he knows he can’t afford?
…and expects you to pay for it? Without discussing it beforehand?
5. Ask: “Have you ever budgeted for something?”
Married life requires to budget on an ongoing basis. If he has never budgeted for little, budgeting for bigger things won’t be easy.
And… What If He’s Financially Stable?
Guys too have a hard time staying with a financial wreck. If you’re expecting your future husband to score great in all your marriage requirements and to be financially stable, it would be best if you were too. You can’t expect what you’re not willing to return.
You are his first adviser. And I guess you will want to advise him down the right path. Do you know which path that is?
What about the times where for one reason or another, he’s incapable to assume his leading role? Are you equipped enough to hold the fort? I just heard from your future self and she says you are
Here is a little extra help on how to make that happen.
Happy financial future.